Caffeine Fiend, or Tea and No Sympathy
by Tanista2
Summary: Never get between a troubleshooter's sleep-deprived niece and her morning dose of caffeine. (Domestic Adventures 'verse)


_Author's Notes:_

 _ _This story is part of my MacGyver AU series. You can find information on its premise, philosophy and origins and a timeline of stories on my profile page.__

 _Inspired by Tea and Assault (and its sequel, The Tea Protocols) by BarPurple on AO3 (maybe also here), two of the funniest Sherlock/Molly stories I've read lately. Here's an homage in my own MacGyver AU._

 _This is what came out of my head instead of the birthday story I was fully intending to write, by the way. (Can someone ship Mac to me for my birthday Wednesday, please? *g*)_

* * *

-1991-

Pete Thornton parked the car against the curb in front of the apartment complex, wondering why his friend would be calling him at eight in the morning. He walked up the steps and hurried inside, jaw dropping first at the extent of the damage in the living room, then second at the two scruffy men- clearly badly beaten with their hands bound in duct tape- being led away by uniformed officers. "What happened here?"

One looked up at him with fear in his eyes. "We're part of a theft ring. We'll confess to anything you want, just keep that crazy kid far away from us!" The officers pushed them along, groaning, outside to the waiting patrol cars.

He stared after them in confusion for a while, then shook his head and continued to the kitchen. Once there he found the troubleshooter on his hands and knees, sweeping pieces of shattered blue ceramic into a dustpan. "Mac, what on earth's going on?"

MacGyver stood up and smiled at him. "Hey, Pete. Good to see you. Thanks for getting here so quickly." He tilted the dustpan into the wastebasket, frowning at the contents. "Darn, that was Becky's favorite mug, too. Hope I can find a replacement."

"Mac, I abandoned an important emergency meeting with the Board of Directors for this! The message you left with Helen said it was urgent. What's going on? Is Becky okay?"

"Yeah, she's upstairs getting dressed. A bit cranky maybe but otherwise fine, all things considered."

"What do you mean?"

His friend gave a lopsided smile. "Pete, let me start by warning you never to get between my niece and her first cup of tea in the morning..."

* * *

MacGyver returned to the apartment after a run, enjoying the peace of the neighborhood that came with the early hours until he abruptly stopped, noticing the front door standing wide open. _That's strange,_ he thought. _Could've sworn I locked it on my way out._ He entered quietly and carefully, stopping when he spied two grungy men- probably ex-cons, judging by the tattoos visible on their skin- rummaging through the kitchen after obviously having finished in the living room.

 _Oh, great. Why does this have to happen now, when I know how late Becky had to stay up doing her homework? It's bad enough she isn't a morning person like I am. I just hope they'll heed my advice and get out of this with minimal injuries._

Mac joined them, clearing his throat; they turned around, guns training on him. He slowly raised his hands, letting the intruders see they were empty. "Hey, take it easy. I'm unarmed."

"Stay right where you are," one of them snapped.

Mac glanced at the clock on the wall. _Six-thirty. Her alarm oughta be going off right about now._ _No, this will_ _ **not**_ _be a pretty sight._ He folded his arms, leaning against the refrigerator. "You know, you guys really picked a bad time to do this."

"Yeah, why is that? Who else is here?"

"It's just me and my niece. But you really don't want to mess with her at this hour if she hasn't had enough sleep and no caffeine yet in her system, believe me. She's not exactly a morning person, either. My advice is to get outta here while you still can."

The thugs grinned at each other. "Will you listen to this guy, Jerry?"

"A regular comedian, Freddie."

Mac heard an upstairs bedroom door slam open and sighed. "Look guys," he entreated, "I mean it. I don't keep much cash around, but you're welcome to all of it if you leave now, before she comes downstairs."

"Yeah, like we're really gonna fall for that. Just give us your valuables, already, or we'll hurt her first."

There was a sound of footsteps slowly making their way downstairs, then towards the kitchen. He rolled his eyes. "Okay, don't say I didn't warn you."

The intruders turned to see a petite young woman in worn blue pajamas, fuzzy slippers and a bad case of bed-head, shuffling into the room. She yawned, rubbing at her eyes behind her glasses. "Morning, Unc."

"Morning, Beck. You stayed up pretty late last night, didn't you? Ready for breakfast?"

She shook her head. "Tea first."

"Shut up, both of you," Jerry grumbled. "Freddie, deal with the kid."

Freddie pointed his weapon at her. "C'mon now, sit over there like a good girl. Do what we say and you won't get hurt."

Becky stared blearily at the man towering above her. "Tea first," she repeated, enunciating each word forcefully.

"No tea, kid!" Jerry snapped, picking up a blue mug from the dish drainer and smashing it on the floor.

 _Oh man,_ Mac thought, wincing as her eyes narrowed, something dangerous showing behind the sleepy gaze. _Now they're gonna get it._ He closed his own, preparing for the worst.

"Yeah, what my partner said. No tea. Now go and..." He stared wide-eyed as the gun was kicked out of his hand, then doubled over in pain from a well-placed knee. A whack from a frying pan knocked him out cold.

Jerry turned around in surprise. "What the...?" Another spinning kick disarmed him then the same pan hit him upside the head, sending him to join his companion on the tiled floor.

MacGyver smiled ruefully, fetching a roll of duct tape from the junk drawer. "Told ya." After restraining the would-be thieves he turned to Becky, who still stood slouching half-awake in the middle of the room, blinking in the first rays of sunlight coming in through the kitchen window.

He placed a gentle hand on her arm, inquiring in a soft voice, "Hey, sweetheart. Ready for your tea?" A nod was her only reply. "Then let me take care of this for you first, what do you say?" He carefully took the improvised weapon from her limp hand and she shuffled towards the table, stepping over both unconscious criminals and ceramic fragments on the way.

 _That went about as expected,_ Mac thought wryly while he filled the kettle with water and extracted a teabag from the box nearby, along with a clean pair of mugs from the cupboard. _Like I told those guys, she's not exactly a morning person._

* * *

Pete stared at him, dumbfounded. "You're saying _Becky_ took them out? Even when they both were holding guns? You didn't need to step in and help?"

MacGyver shook his head. "Nope. Guess those self-defense classes she's been taking really paid off. All I had to do was tie them up and call the police."

"Then what was so urgent that you had to pull me out of a meeting?"

Mac reached over to the counter, picking up a package covered in Chinese characters and pictures of _camellia sinensis_ leaves and jasmine blossoms. "This is Becky's favorite brand of tea, but we can only find it at one store in Chinatown. She had the last bag with her breakfast, but she's gonna need at least a second cup before giving her statement at the police station later on. I'd go and get it, but now I have to run around town trying to find an identical mug in that same shade of blue. It might take a while since I don't rightly remember where she bought it."

Thornton could only blink in disbelief when his friend shoved the box into his hands. "Would you mind, Pete? It's expensive, but get at least three boxes of the stuff. And make it quick. Trust me, you wouldn't want to be around her after discovering there's no caffeine at home after she's pulled an all-nighter."

"Is it really that bad?"

He swore he saw pure terror in Mac's eyes. "Remember that mission in Belgrade, back in the DXS? Ten times worse."

Pete shuddered. "It's _that_ bad. I'll get right on it."

-End-


End file.
